Why You Should Book Your Flights With KLM

I know, they’re not an airline, so why book a flight with them, right? It sounds like a strange recommendation. You wouldn’t go to a butcher to get heart surgery, you wouldn’t get your car fixed at a used bicycle store, you wouldn’t buy sashimi from a street stall in a rough neighbourhood in Bangkok (it’s not even Japan!).

All true. But first of all, you are, of course, very unlikely to actually fly with them, if you book a ticket, saving you a whole ton of money, because you’re likely to spend significantly less, if you’re at home writing complaints. And second of all, in the unlikely event you do fly, there are plenty of benefits which you probably haven’t thought of.

KLM will keep you slim. You’re the type who eats spilled hot chilli from the floor of some honky-tonk in Tijuana, just to win a bet? Try their food. My guess is you’ll be just fine, waiting a few hours to get a fill.

There is also something thoroughly unpleasant about new planes, the plasticky smell, the little particles flying around in the air, everything. With KLM you will never go through that trouble.

(c) Quaztimes and Doha News (feature photo)

We all know how rampant sexual harassment is on flights these days, sleazy remarks, hands going where they shouldn’t go. Not so, if you travel with KLM. Their staff are not ugly, they are out of this world. No one would harass them or think about harassing anyone else for that matter, while onboard.

You hate inequality? KLM will treat you like everyone else, trust me, there are no favours for anyone.

Life’s a bit too fast for you at the moment, you think? Catch a flight with KLM and it will be very slow. I fondly remember how, when flying back from Tokyo to Munich in 2002 (back then the company was called Air France, now they’ve merged with KLM, who always had a very similar track record), the flight attendant taught me a valuable lesson, quite intentionally: it is not ok to leave your knee out in the aisle at 4am by a 2cm margin. She also taught me how taking the slow lane can enrich your life. I had been planning on doing some hiking in the Alps, which can be very stressful (I’m afraid of heights, and think of all the physical exertion, madness!). Instead, I was limping around Munich’s cafes slowly for several days, enjoying myself.

Yes, it’s true, they can get a bit rude, but think about how you’ll improve your social skills learning not to change their appearance. You’ll be a better person in the end, and that’s a good, thing, no?

In short, we think everyone should book KLM every now and then. Obviously not, when you want to get from A to B, but think about it as a life-changing experience. For the better.

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